Tuesday, 22 January 2013

The Good, The Bad and The Other

Good Things That Happened Today:
  • Two members of my form (two of the ones who wrote the song for me in this post) gave me a birthday present in the form of a Teddy Bear. (Southfield tradition is to bring one in for Children in Need Day, and they were aghast that I didn't own one...)
  • I found a packet of Magic Stars in my drawer at work (I suspect they were a gift from my housemate - thanks, housie)
  • The 'Word of the Week' is effervescent. It's a goodun.
  • I wasn't late for work

Bad Things That Happened Today:
  • I discovered my new car has been driven into, hugely denting the driver's door. No, they didn't leave a note. Yes, I was on the road, but I was up on the curb as out of the way as I could be.
  • I have been told we are not allowed to run A level music next year, as the (school? county? government?) are requesting a minimum of 9 students per course, and that NEVER happens for music. Well, except once.
  • I am probably going to have some sort of reduced timetable next year, or reduced job, or increased hours of teaching Not Music, due to the above.
  • I rang the doctor to sort out a reduced hours return to work - she isn't in til Thurs, and the receptionist was in a really loud environment, both of which stressed me out. Disproportionately so, admittedly.
  • It is massively icy

Other Things That Happened Today:
  • I'm currently watching Batman: The Wail of the Siren. It's a bit ridiculous. I haven't decided if it's in a good way or a bad way yet...
  • This, however, is definitely excellent:

Thank you, Alfred.

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Life on Loan

It's a bit odd, this Post-Concussion Syndrome.

It's sent me a bit mad.

For a while, my life didn't really feel like my life. I mean, shortly after the C had occurred (brain hitting against skull during accident, apparently) I was constantly aching, sleeping and not really aware of anything that was going on around me, but I thought that was the after-effects of the accident itself and that it would pass. It pretty much has, but with a few lingering personality changes.

What I wasn't prepared for was the feeling of imminent tears at any minute, and the unaccountable short fuse. Normally, I am quite patient. With the kids at school, at least. Then last week, I found myself either being profoundly irritated by them (and not only them), or on the brink of breaking down in tears in front of them all.

Since not being in work this week, the irritability appears to have lessened, and life is a bit more manageable. Especially with all the wonderful people in it, doing wonderful things like providing me with food and hairstrokes and things. Every now and then, though, I am overwhelmed with weary weepiness for no apparent reason.

Tuesday, for example, had been a fairly strong day. Tues eve came, and I was happily ensconced in a little bubble of joy, and then without warning and for no reason at all, someone poured a huge bucket of sadness over my head. Hugely unfair.

Weds was a heavy day, and I didn't deal with it very well.

And today I've mostly had a headache.

But tomorrow is my birthday.

And on Sat we have a gig, at which some of my most favouritest people will be.

And perhaps it will feel a bit more like my life, even if I am still driving someone else's car...
(which is actually my own. It'll feel like it soon, I'm sure...)

Viva la Birthday!

Tuesday, 8 January 2013


"A person with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder will often relive the traumatic event through nightmares and flashbacks, and have feelings of isolation, irritability and guilt.

They may also have problems sleeping, such as insomnia, and may find concentrating difficult. The symptoms are often severe and persistent enough to have a significant impact on the person's day-to-day life.

Some people with PTSD deal with their feelings by trying not to feel anything at all. This is known as emotional numbing. They may feel detached or isolated from others, or guilty.

Someone with PTSD can often seem deep in thought and withdrawn. They may also give up pursuing the activities that they used to enjoy."

Don't let me give up things I enjoy.