Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Feeling Good

I love school concerts. Well, the good ones, that is. And tonight was one of those.

Seriously, so many talented students. And a few not-too-bad staff members too.

In general, much fun was had, many songs were sung, and now we have no extra-curricular til September.

That means fewer music-making-student opportunities (boo) but more lunch breaks (yeahh!)

Right now, however, I am going to sleep (hurrah!!).

That is all.

Sunday, 26 June 2011


"...a weak-willed 'people pleaser' whose settled for a job as a teacher"


"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

- Jim Morrison

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Things I have recently (re)discovered

1. Driving in the dark, in the warm air, with the windows down and music loud.
2. Orchestras (specifically playing in them)
3. Massages - love 'em!
4. Housemates - as above
5. Mediterranean bread, with herbs (generic) and sun dried tomatoes (delicious)
7. Bailey's
9. Red nail varnish
10. "Sleep as an Droid" (yes, the incorrect grammatical 'pun' irritates me too...)

Sunday, 19 June 2011

TICK Tick tick tick...

"Bellina, dear, can you hear them tick away?
They're turning into minutes, just like hours turn into days..."
- Pete Roe

"He'll tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away..."
- Laura Marling

How is it I let days just disappear?

I mean, I surely know how many hours a day contains. I also know approximately how long it takes to complete most of the activities I set for myself.

Especially the every day ones.

Like waking up. And getting dressed.

I have woken up every single day of my life, and got dressed for most of them. You'd think I'd know exactly how many minutes that takes, and plan my morning accordingly.

Broken down into its composite activites, my morning tends to resemble the following sequence of events:

1. Alarm going off.
2. Snooze button pressed.
3. Light napping until alarm re-sounds.
4. (repeating steps 1-3 for a non-specified length of time)
5. Throwing off covers and leaping enthusiastically out of bed
6. (either staring dismally into the mirror for a bleary few seconds, or frantically rushing about, depending on how many repetitions took place at step 4.)
7. (either showering luxuriously, scantily or not at all, also depending on the above)
8. (occasionally (/frequently) dry shampooing, if the above repetitions carry too far into the wrong side of breakfast o'clock)
9. Drying hair, putting on face, clothes and deodorant (not necessarily in that order)
10. Eating breakfast, cleaning teeth, leaving house.

That's roughly my 10-step guide to getting up in the morning.

And yet, somehow, I'm always late for everything.

And then work. I had an entire afternoon to plan 3 hours of lessons, one of which is going to be a practis/ce (I have never known when to use which practic/se) listening exam, requiring no actual planning on my part whatsoever.


Well, technically I'm typing on here... and technically I didn't spend all afternoon working. Unless you count hoovering my entire house, alphabetising my CD collection (I have approximately 170 CDs, by the way. Oh, I'm so stuck in the 20th century...) and watching Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow on iPlayer as work.


I should probably do some actual work now.


(I'm totally going to use my free p.2 to finish the planning I haven't done. I love PPA time)

Au revoir!

Saturday, 4 June 2011

Mt. Desolation

"Maybe I'm a slave to a hopeless dream,
But I'm the kind of slave who doesn't want to be free"

- Tim Rice-Oxley

Friday, 3 June 2011

"You Can Do Anything"

I wonder how much more we would try, if this were our mantra.

So, I go through occasional bouts of obssession-ism - sometimes it's films and the same one every evening, or the same CD, or song, on repeat. Sometimes it's people, like actors or musicians, and I feel like I know them because I spend hours reading about them, or looking on their websites, or finding pictures of them. (I once tried to cut out Laura Marling's hair and put it on a picture of myself, so that I could see whether white blonde would suit me. That was a weird moment.)

Earlier this week, the album The Flowerpot Sessions came out, which I bought from Amazon as soon as I could. The reason for this was initially because it's from a label (Communion) co-founded by Ben Lovett of Mumford and Sons, and I'd found out about them a little while ago (can't remember why - probably during my Peggy Sue obssession) when they released their first album (which I could only find on LP... and for which I nearly bought myself a record player. Which felt like an expensive toy. But I kind of wish I had bought it anyway...)

So I've spent a bit too much time recently re-discovering Mumford and Sons, and learning a bit more about them. Or as much as the unreliable sources will let me (they are simultaneously welcoming yet cleverly elusive in their own blogs).

So anyway, according to the treasure trove of Actual Fact that is Wikipedia, Marcus Mumford is a whole year YOUNGER than me. And I know Laura Marling is more than that. And Ben Lovett (no idea how old he is, but presumably a similar sort of age) has not only played with about a million bands I love (Alessi's Ark, Laura Marling, Peggy Sue, Mumford etc) but he is now using that to try and promote unknown and unsigned musicians. Noble!

I love it.

Then there are the people who give up their lives to go and live elsewhere, like my friend whose new(-ish) life is in Ghana, and others who just decide to live in Australia for a year. And still more who are UK-based, but Heads of Department/Year/Key Stage in their second year of teaching.

Oh, and then there are those who are amazing mothers and fathers, and loving husbands and wives, and the immense men and women living totally for God, OH and the friend who works with women seeking refuge from abusive countries/partners etc.

And then, of course, there are people like those on The Apprentice, who have been their own bosses since the age of eight, or something ridiculous.

So, really, with the right mind-set, I guess you can do pretty much anything.

I suppose it just depends who you're doing what you're doing for.

And why.

And I suppose as well, it's using your own situation for the best it can be used.
I am not HoD, but I can impact the lives of my students in little positive ways every day I see them.
I am not a wife, but I am a daughter and a sister.
I am not a girlfriend, but I am a friend.

Use what I have, for the best it can be used.

New mantra.

(not a very catchy one...)

Thursday, 2 June 2011

no news but good news

So I am struggling to find anything interesting to say, really.

So I think I'll start with a list of good news:

- my lovely friend's poorly mum is not as poorly as the doctors thought she might be.
- my reasonable landlords are being particularly obliging at the moment
...and as a consequence of which, I have a new housemate - woo hoo!
- my beautiful friend's wedding is getting ever closer
- I have been thoroughly indulged this week, with lots of family time, fun busy-ness and noticing new friends are becoming real friends.

So lots of good things! Thanks, God.

And with that in mind, I'm going to bed.