Tuesday, 20 September 2011


So the joys of re-teaching the same lessons that I taught last year means I have a lot more spare time in my evenings than I'm used to.

This means I have spent most of my time over the last few evenings watching my housemate's friend's box set of Friends.

It's also meant that I've spent the last few days being simultaneously grateful for having a housemate, and missing having a close group of friends who live near by.

That is all.

Friday, 16 September 2011

The Pursuit of Love

I found this that I'd written a few months ago. I think I might have posted it before, and then deleted it. Anyway, I thought I'd share it again, especially in the light of another friend's wedding tomorrow.

"What I don't understand is that in novels and films, it all seems so easy...

So, I'm currently reading a novel by Nancy Mitford. It's really quite good - I like her style, and she makes me smile wryly every now and again, which is nice. What I don't get, however, is the fact that although her protagonists are in "The Pursuit of Love", she only dedicates about a paragraph to the "two years of agony" between 16 and 18, which is from the age her characters become preoccupied with falling in love, to the age they are 'out' and allowed to get engaged.

How can the 'pursuit of love' be condensed into so brief a paragraph...?

Oh and every now and then she slips in things like an "oh, by this point I (the narrator) had met so-and-so and now we're married", and a nonchalant "oh yeah, this sister of mine has now got 2 children"... like it's of no consequence at all.

Isn't it supposed to be life changing? Isn't it supposed to make an impact?

It's like when I talk to people who have been married for ages, and it's so matter-of-fact and understated, that I get confused.

I feel like my whole life has been building up to The Event. And you know how when someone promises you something, and says "it's on its way, promise!", and you get excited about it, but then it keeps not coming, despite reassurances of "it's still on its way!", and it gets harder and harder to be excited about it...?

I just don't really know what to do differently.

I mean, I want it to make an impact, I want it to be worth waiting for, and I also suppose I don't really want to miss out. But if all that's asking too much, I might even rather nothing than a lukewarm non-life-changing "oh, and then we got married" type thing.

I sometimes feel like there's a secret code that you need to understand before you're even allowed close to contemplating The Event.

It's like a club I've not been invited into.

In other news, I just ate an entire tube of Maltesers. Yum!

"We walk by faith, not by sight"
2 Corinthians 5:7"

(I found it - it was originally posted on January 19th. The day after my 25th birthday.)

Tuesday, 6 September 2011


Tomorrow I am:

- seeing the year 12s for the first time since their results and dreading it
- looking forward to having the department to myself
- going to plan some fun housewarming and other parties
- teaching a double lesson for the first time since 2009
- possibly going to the cinema.
- going to try and feel less like running away

I have a new year 7 form. They are currently pleasant if a bit timid, receptive if a bit quiet, and occasionally a bit responsive. Hurray, good work small children. You're not in Kansas anymore. Here there are hurricanes and detentions and teachers who confiscate your jewellery. Ha.

Oh, also I looked up jobs in London. Currently none that appeal. The thing is, I just keep picturing a little house with a blue door and poor décor, like in Notting Hill, and wishing I lived in it.

One day, maybe...

Monday, 5 September 2011


Today I am not:

- sleeping in shorts
- on my summer holiday
- happy with some of our exam results
- sure what to wear tomorrow
- taking off my Wilderness wristband
- displeased with my new(-ish) house
- feeling inspired by classroom music education
- looking forward to tomorrow.

Sorry for the moan. Enough of that.

Today I am:

- pleased with my new(-ish) house
- enjoying my new lampshade(s)
- possibly going to wear terribly funky shoes/boots tomorrow
- breathing in orange and ginger incense
- not studying a masters (I handed it in - whoop!)
- feeling slightly rebellious.

That is all.

P.S. I know I left out a big chunk of August - I was mostly camping or being in Germany. Both of which were ace.

The end.