"You Can Do Anything"

I wonder how much more we would try, if this were our mantra.

So, I go through occasional bouts of obssession-ism - sometimes it's films and the same one every evening, or the same CD, or song, on repeat. Sometimes it's people, like actors or musicians, and I feel like I know them because I spend hours reading about them, or looking on their websites, or finding pictures of them. (I once tried to cut out Laura Marling's hair and put it on a picture of myself, so that I could see whether white blonde would suit me. That was a weird moment.)

Earlier this week, the album The Flowerpot Sessions came out, which I bought from Amazon as soon as I could. The reason for this was initially because it's from a label (Communion) co-founded by Ben Lovett of Mumford and Sons, and I'd found out about them a little while ago (can't remember why - probably during my Peggy Sue obssession) when they released their first album (which I could only find on LP... and for which I nearly bought myself a record player. Which felt like an expensive toy. But I kind of wish I had bought it anyway...)


So I've spent a bit too much time recently re-discovering Mumford and Sons, and learning a bit more about them. Or as much as the unreliable sources will let me (they are simultaneously welcoming yet cleverly elusive in their own blogs).

So anyway, according to the treasure trove of Actual Fact that is Wikipedia, Marcus Mumford is a whole year YOUNGER than me. And I know Laura Marling is more than that. And Ben Lovett (no idea how old he is, but presumably a similar sort of age) has not only played with about a million bands I love (Alessi's Ark, Laura Marling, Peggy Sue, Mumford etc) but he is now using that to try and promote unknown and unsigned musicians. Noble!

I love it.


Then there are the people who give up their lives to go and live elsewhere, like my friend whose new(-ish) life is in Ghana, and others who just decide to live in Australia for a year. And still more who are UK-based, but Heads of Department/Year/Key Stage in their second year of teaching.

Oh, and then there are those who are amazing mothers and fathers, and loving husbands and wives, and the immense men and women living totally for God, OH and the friend who works with women seeking refuge from abusive countries/partners etc.



And then, of course, there are people like those on The Apprentice, who have been their own bosses since the age of eight, or something ridiculous.



So, really, with the right mind-set, I guess you can do pretty much anything.


I suppose it just depends who you're doing what you're doing for.


And why.




And I suppose as well, it's using your own situation for the best it can be used.
Like:
I am not HoD, but I can impact the lives of my students in little positive ways every day I see them.
I am not a wife, but I am a daughter and a sister.
I am not a girlfriend, but I am a friend.


Use what I have, for the best it can be used.



New mantra.





(not a very catchy one...)

no news but good news

So I am struggling to find anything interesting to say, really.

So I think I'll start with a list of good news:

- my lovely friend's poorly mum is not as poorly as the doctors thought she might be.
- my reasonable landlords are being particularly obliging at the moment
...and as a consequence of which, I have a new housemate - woo hoo!
- my beautiful friend's wedding is getting ever closer
- I have been thoroughly indulged this week, with lots of family time, fun busy-ness and noticing new friends are becoming real friends.


So lots of good things! Thanks, God.


And with that in mind, I'm going to bed.

Yes.

Telling myself the truth.

I.B.Stress

Sometimes blog posts (ha! just typo-ed that as 'poos'!) come into my mind fully formulated - strolling in, in full completion (is 'full completion' a phrase?), much like Harry Potter did to the mind of J.K. Rowling.

Sometimes these blog posts get written just as they come.

Other times (more often), they appear in a far clumsier, less witty and amusing version - a bit lost in translation, shall we say.

Sometimes they never get written.


There are a number of reasons why this might be the case. For example:
- the blog may be banal and boring (ha, doesn't always stop me posting it anyway)
- it may be too moany or self-indulgent (this one is one of those)
- I may have done or thought nothing of interest for so long, that there seems no reason to post at all.


Recently, I have been going through a bit of a blue phase. These happen occasionally. Mostly I can deal with them. Sometimes I can't really. This was one of those times.


So anyway, now I'm dealing with it a bit better so am in a better frame of mind to be communicating with the world again. Hurrah!



Good things about this week/weekend have been:

- My BEAUTIFUL niece and her DELIGHTFUL new little brother
- My lovely bro and sister-in-law (but don't tell him I called him that)
- Wonderful Vineyard-ers
- Long-lost friends and their new houses
- The absolute wonders of Skype
- Nandos and nattering (on a school night)
- Mothers who leave flowers at your door


My I.B.S seems to have returned a bit this week, which I'm not enjoying so much. It's ok right now though, after a healthy dose of Nando's best spicy chicken and acidic fruit juice.

I've also been MASSIVELY tired this week, despite going to bed at about 8pm on Sunday (I've told lots of people slightly different times - mostly because I was so tired I can't really remember. What I do remember is looking at the clock at 7:30pm and thinking "I'd like a nap... But if I nap now, I might not sleep later... Hey, why don't I just sleep now?!", and then I remember being in bed and replying to a text at 9pm in a mostly-completely-asleep state. So it was at some point between then and then. But that's not very interesting... Banal and boring. My bad.)



So I've been thinking of a few things recently. And (disclaimer: self-indulgence approaching) I've made a few conclusions about myself. Well, I say 'conclusions'. I mean 'observations'.

I've noticed that I've recently been thinking that if a child is bad at my subject, it's because I have been teaching them badly. If, however, a child is good at my subject, it's because they are naturally good at it, and it's nothing to do with me.

Now, I actually do believe this statement to have a lot of truth in it. No lie.


But then I realised that I have that sort of attitude in other areas, too. And have for a while.


Like:

If I do badly in an (particuarly instrumental/singing/dancing) exam, it's because I'm actually not very good at it, but if I do well, it's because the examiner was having a generous day, and actually don't really mean what they were saying/don't know what they were talking about.

If a guy isn't interested in me, well, why would he be, but if he is, then he isn't actually; he's wrong.

If I think I look bad in a photo, it's because I'm ugly, but if I don't look too bad, it's because of the angle, or the colour I'm wearing, or the light, or the person who took it, or the camera. (actually, it is amazing what light and angles and cameras can do. That is the truth)



Anyway, those are some of the thoughts I've been having recently. They seem to have come from a slightly selfish dark place, so apologies for that.



On another note, there are only two days til the weekend, Difficult Child was not as difficult today (hurray!) and my hair is slowly but surely getting longer. Yessss!


I'm off to write some bullet points about Webern.

Yeah man, can't wait.



Truth.

A fistful of questions, no answers to hand.

For some reason, I smell of fake tan.

I don't know why, I haven't used any. I don't seem to have used any real tan, let alone fake... How odd.



This weekend has been a hotchpotch (great word) of old friends, new friends, developing friends and variants of the above.

It has been a mish-mash of sunshine, ominous thunder clouds and spatterings of rain.

I have been thoroughly exhausted, fairly exhilerated, relatively placid and (right at the end) uncomfortably distressed.

But now I am a bit exhausted, quite a lot placid and not at all exhilerated.


Actually, that's wrong. I am a little bit.


In fact, the more I think about it, the more exhilerated I feel.



I have a bubbling of excitement fizzing around my insides. I'm not sure quite what it's about, why it's there, or whose fault it is, but I'm excited.

Excited about life. Yeah, man!



There are so many exciting things to come.



Many of which I have, as yet, no conception.




Which just makes them all the more exciting!








Come on life.

Let's DO it!




"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."
John 10:10

Buckling

Sigh...

Today I am mostly feeling responsible for:

- Year 12s essentially failing their mock
- Year 11s not having enough time for revision between now and their exam
- Year 10s wanting to drop out of music
- Year 9s not opting for music as a GCSE


Also, I feel like teaching should be issued with a warning about the amount of emotional weight that comes with the job.

Not only our own issues, but all the stresses and worries of each of our students, resulting in the sense that we are basically sitting about a hundred GCSE exams and fifty-odd A levels. (I'm not sure where I got those figures from... some deeply reliable formula, probably.)

Then there are the personal issues the students are laden with every single day.

Consequently, I am from a hundred broken families, suffering the heartache of too many bereavements, and buckling under the pressures of a thousand 'not good enough', 'not academic enough' and 'not cool enough's.


It's exhausting.


Anyway, I've just had a Bailey's hot chocolate, and a glance over tomorrow's lessons. They're not great, but they'll have to do. I need to go to bed.


Oui.




22:26
Also, I just came across this quote from Adele:

"I love seeing Lady Gaga's boobs and bum. I love seeing Katy Perry's boobs and bum. Love it. But that's not what my music is about. I don't make music for eyes. I make music for ears."
- Adele (Rolling Stone interview)



Thought I'd share.

(Thanks, Adele.)

Egg Wash for Humans

"I wake up in the morning,
Put on my face.
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day"

- A. Lavigne